Are You Alan Shearer in Disguise?!

I know, I know, United supporters loathe that man that spurned Fergie many years ago. And if you believe this, you might also feel that Shearer’s relative lack of silverware was a deserved consequence from that decision. Fair enough.

But all animosity aside, don’t you feel like Rooney’s channeling the EPL’s record-setting goal scorer?!

I mean, c’mon, Rooney’s drifting slightly deeper in the box and taking positions where his first-choice is a header on goal. And from distance, mind you. No more one-dimensional crashing the near or far post. Now defenders need to take heed even when Wazza drifts ever-so-slightly back in the box.

Today’s Cup-winner came from a deeper position and the end-product, a perfectly placed, looping header, was the only-possible way to beat Brad Friedel from a distance.

His inch-perfect match-winner makes five headed goals in a row, an utterly remarkable stat for a man now clearly in ascendency for the Golden Boot and World Footballer of the Year honors.

But these are individual accomplishments.

Looking from the team perspective, we shouldn’t get too caught up in Rooney’s raging form, as United couldn’t be happier with the recent developments on the wing as well.

We’re watching Valencia’s crossing and confidence grow, given a short break earlier along with the added incentive of competition with Nani after his recent resurgence. Is this a coincidence? I think not.

Valencia’s improved service reinforces Wazza’s newly-found aerial prowess, as clearly Wayne expects and often gets pin-point service. Obviously this adds another dimension to Rooney’s menace, which makes him even harder to mark in and around the box.

Yet the improved crossing ultimately makes Valencia more difficult to stop as well, as defenders need to close down the increasingly potent crosses and risk being beaten by Antonio’s quick footwork on the carpet, an unenviable pick-your-poison proposition that clearly demonstrates why Valencia won Man of the Match honors today.

Sir Alex now has three potent wingers, all of whom are all elevating their form simultaneously with Rooney. A fourth consecutive EPL title and magic number nineteen are clearly within reach, especially if Rio and Vidic can get healthy for the run-in.

So, do you ever wonder what Mr. Newcastle thinks while watching United win trophy after trophy? Cheer up, Alan Shearer! Oh what can could have been indeed.

Poor, Poor Pompey

Early on watching today’s match, I had “A Few Minutes of Silence” from Paul Westerberg’s 14 Songs running through my head, an appropriate choice for the minute’s silence in honor of the Busby Babes and the ground’s atmosphere early in the match.

You could simply feel the impending doom amongst the compact Pompey formation while the crowd quietly waited for the inevitable thumping.

But, for all the United possession, the attack petered out in an over-reliance on tricks and unconnected crosses. How could it still be scoreless after nearly 40 minutes against the bottom-dwellers?

We all know Pompey will go down this season, with four different owners in six months, threats of administration, massive player turnover, and finally, the new manager caught at a brothel. Oh, you must feel for this club.

Poor Pompey indeed.

You knew the flood gates would open at some point, especially while watching the center backs arguing with the midfield about who should pick up Rooney when he drops back, for example. And, it’s absolutely no surprise that one Wayne Rooney would nod-home the goal that would break Portsmouth’s back. That’s 8 goals in 5 ½ games, bringing his tally to 23 on the season and keeping Wazza front-and-center in the Player of the Year debate.

This game was soooo anti-climatic that the only drama involved whether United would keep a clean sheet and what would be the ultimate score line, hoping Owen and Diouf would add to the growing goal differential on the season.

Today’s match goes down as an easy 5-0 victory, with three own goals perfectly symbolizing the struggles faced by Portsmouth on and off the pitch this season.

You just have to wonder, if on the team bus to the airport, somebody might slip in a copy of a certain Westerberg song.

A moment’s silence, please, in honor of Portsmouth’s fate. We feel for you.