Rooney Rebirth Complete

Three things were proven in United’s emphatic 2-0 victory over Schalke today.

First, Inter are much slower and older that we thought, given the goal tally conceded against today’s foes. Incredible they gave up five to this squad in one match.

Second, Schalke are truly a mid-table club in the Bundesliga on a cup run, who rode their soon-to-depart goalkeeper and counter attacking into the Champions League Semi-Finals. Punching well above their weight, the Blues looked intimidated by United and the weight of the match. Simply outclassed straight from the kickoff.

Third, United, and Rooney in particular, were sparkling, as the only remaining debate involves the degree of the Red Devils dominance versus the German hosts level of poor play.

But, it was far from certain at half time.

THE only thing United didn’t do in the forty-five minutes was score. Such dominance without end product provides a dangerous edge in a game of this magnitude.

Even the possession stat didn’t do the Red Devils justice at two-thirds to one-third, as Fergie’s men created chance after chance. United blew eleven – mind, you – eleven chances before half. Seldom do we witness this many opportunities between both sides in a two-legged series let alone by one team in one half. Incredible.

Which does lend to superstitious thoughts, as any team THAT wasteful could certainly pay a huge price – think Arsenal’s swan dive recently.

But, Sir Alex and the evergreen contingent kept the squad calm and composed at half; a clinical second half would follow the first – with Rooney and Giggs, the young and the old – taking hold of the match, putting it to bed, and calmly chatting with reporters afterwards.

No over-the-top celebrations. A calm look of a job well done, which bodes well for the Red Devils confidence heading into the EPL run-in. The second Champions League tie has become a training ground exercise between taxing contests away to Arsenal and home to Chelsea – a measure of emotional stability between difficult matches gained.

You felt that this United side could win the coveted nineteenth domestic title, yet for Champions League glory, the Reds seemed to lack that player capable of turning the match on its head with one touch, such as Ronaldo.

Not any longer. He goes by the name of Wayne Rooney.

THIS Wayne Rooney we witnessed against Chelsea and Schalke is the player that ruled domestic and Champions League football before turning his ankle against Bayern Munich last March.

The symbolism of United breaking the German Champions League hex and Wazza casting aside his own demons, on the very ground he saw red against Portugal in 2006 will not be lost on anyone.

We can now officially declare Rooney’s rebirth complete, and with it, United’s chances of lifting the Champions League trophy time immeasurably improved.

After all, is there anyone on the Schalke side that could conjure up a motivational speech akin to Bluto’s famous Animal House’s rally? I think not.

After all, we're the famous Man United and we're GOING to Wembley!

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Back at you after the Arsenal match. Cheers.

Chicharito’s Toffee Takedown

Honestly, I didn’t give a nanosecond of thought to this the blog post while watching the match. All I kept thinking were thoughts like "move quicker" and "attack, attack" – c’mon lads, we’ve got this one… just… one… goal…

After the first 45 minutes, all were content, as the Toffees played deep, unadventurous football. No worries with the nil-nil score line. The goal will come.

Yet, with the introduction of Anichebe and Cahill coming on for the second 45 minutes, Everton became more confident with their smash-and-grab tactics. Their movements forward involved maintaining some easier possession; as for the first time you could see them getting something from the match.

And, much to the Red Devils’ chagrin, United began looking leggy and seemed to miss a cutting edge and a strong aerial presence, as Distin and the impressive Jagielka dispatched each cross easily. And, Tim Howard gobbled what service that got through.

In this game one goal will be enough, but would it come? That’s an entirely different question: forget the skinny bums, try stubby nail time, as the clock ticked away.

Normally you’d never ever bet against United to score late, with everything on the line facing the Stretford End. Heroics are commonplace on this ground, this end.

Yet, the scoreless streak now entered into its third match, so there’s validity to the palatable anxiety at Old Trafford and in front of TVs around the world. Surly, United wouldn’t go three matches without scoring, not with the beloved nineteen on the line, could we?

Man, that boy has goals in him – nineteen thus far, to be exact, a nice symmetry to the task at hand.

Fittingly, it’s with utter delight that Chicharito ended up with the match-winner, and likely title-decider, given his impact on the club this season with all of Rooney’s contract consternation and troubles off the pitch.

United couldn’t appreciate Hernandez’ poaching more during any other season but the present.

The little pea provides not only match-winners, ones often missing from United’s number ten much of the season, but his added pace allowed Wazza the space – figuratively and literally – to reinvent himself.

Chicharito is the chemical catalyst, a much needed dimension to United’s attacking verve. Whereas Giggsy, Nani, or Rooney pick the lock, Chicharito grabs the gold with infectious, child-like joy, reminding us all this game’s fun first-and-foremost.

Afterwards, Sir Alex reflected on Chicharito’s contributions this year, as he spoke with Sky Sports 2.

''We didn't expect that (level of performance),'' admitted Ferguson.

''We thought a year of introducing him to the club and adapting to English football and strengthening him up. He's done all those things already. He comes in every day at nine and he's the last to leave, this boy is very dedicated.''

Thus, the shocking secret’s revealed: the boy has dedication in him, much to the Toffees and title wannabes chagrin.

Switching gears to a side note…

Funny the sub consciousness of a fan’s mindset.

The night before the Champions League Final against Chelsea, I had a re-occurring dream of the United faithful signing, in the rain nonetheless, “Man United will never die” – a wonderful premonition of impending glory.

Well, without any conscious thought, I’ve had Steely Dan’s “Hey Nineteen” playing non-stop in my head, obviously matching Chicharito’s goal scoring and United’s impending title tally. Pass the Cuervo Gold, as this season’s a wonderful thing.

Hey Nineteen


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Back at you late after the Champions League match on Tuesday. Fingers crossed my own personal media blackout will hold, as I can’t get out of work, unfortunately. Cheers.

Blown Cover

When unable to watch United live on midday, midweek games due to work, I go into typical media blackout routine… No internet. Avoid personal email and voice mail for a few hours. No problem. Most Americans are oblivious to these midday EPL matches.

Thus, the result’s kept a mystery to enjoy with other media-blackout-subscribing United fans or watch alone in the comforts of home – something to really look forward to in the evening. After all there are only 38 EPL matches per season.

Which is why today’s events prove troublesome.

Sometimes between work and United on the DVR, I hit the health club for a quick workout. I already know to avoid eye contact with ESPN’s sports ticker or highlights shows playing on any of the TVs.

If by some chance highlights start while I’m churning away on the stationary bike, I’m always quick to look away and avoid knowing the result. Practiced, I am.

That was until today.

It didn’t dawn on me that wearing an old, ratty 2006/2007 Premier League Champions t-shirt would puncture the media blackout.

After getting my workout gear on, including my iPod shuffle with Brother Ali’s “Champion” playing in the background, I moved to the drinking fountain to fill up my 24-ounce water bottle. While waiting for the water to fill-up, I standing there enjoying Brother Ali, thinking about the workout and anticipating watching footy.

Just then, a guy approaches me, points to the crest on the shirt, as if wanting to start a conversation, and cuts right to it “Hey, I saw you drew today. What do you…oh…”

He stops when he sees the pained expression on my face and immediately realizes what just happened.

First, I’ll give him credit for saying “you” drew today – obviously, he must have sensed the presence of a devoted fan. Cheers to that.

Second, even through the Brother Ali was playing pretty loud I definitely heard “draw” when uttered. There’s absolutely no way to hide my train-wrecked facial expression – the deed’s done.

Then I, without the slightest mental filter, blurt-out, “I’ve got the match on DVR and was avoiding the result...” I needn’t say more; the guy gives me a pained smile; he’s off.

It’s simply another football fan wanting to chat about United or the EPL title race, but alas, not today – no way, no how.

Thus, you, my dear reader are getting my latest blog post before I even watch the match. No analysis, commentary, or unique spin on the result from this post: just my story.

And, I should have known better.

The April 6th column in the Wall Street Journal’s MarketWatch entiled “Champions League paces soccer’s US gains” was a huge clue new media blackout measures were required. The piece cites European footy as “the fastest growing televised sport in the United States” with “Fox Soccer’s average audience for the last full Premier League season, from August 2009 to May 2010, was up roughly 75 percent from the previous year.”

It goes on to say that big matches draw comparable numbers to the NHL or regular-season college basketball, which astonishes us given only 40% of households have access to these matches and that many occur during weekend morning time-slots. Incredible.

Obviously, new measures are required to keep results secret, including no more workouts prior to matches, no wearing United gear on the days in question, and a stronger vigilance for any form of media anywhere. Oh, and for Champions League knockout round deciders, I’ll take the vacation time – thank you very much. Looks like it’s absolutely necessary now. It’s a new world indeed.

Now, switching gears back to Newcastle v United…

I know we drew 0-0 in a year that still feels like the title race is up for grabs, given how often United and Arsenal match each other in dropping points.

It’s got the feel of “I’ve got it, I’ve got it… you take it” sort of title race, as I also know that there were a couple of controversial non-penalty calls and that United missed a couple of guilt-edged chances.

That’s two games running now without a goal. Nothing to sweat about just yet, but we’re well into skinny bum time, so the opportunity sits there for Sir Alex’s men to grab – hint, hint. Plus, we’ve got the Champions League again next week. Love the football fixture pile-up, as it’s great for us, the fans.

And you’ll be happy to know that my vacation time’s already been approved for May 4th. No blackout rules required. So, I got that going for me, which is nice.

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Back at you after the Everton match. Cheers.

The Lincoln Lawyer: A Novel

A Glass Half Full

What a bitter pill to swallow, with no more treble, the “35 Years” banner in jeopardy, and worse yet, a City side could use this result to push into Champions League position. Grrrr…..

You simply knew City would clog things up and grind it out. One goal would be huge.

Thus, it’s especially difficult to loose on such a horrible mistake by a combo of VDS-and-Carrick, as their form has been stellar recently. And please, I won’t even bother to discuss THAT red card because that’s the risk run by Scholes being Scholesy.

All in all it’s a very lethargic performance by United in the second half, prior to the sending off, with Wazza’s edge sorely missing. Can you say lesson learned, Wayne?

Once the sting wears off, however, United do have other priorities at the moment.

Sure, the ego’s bruised by the noisy neighbors, as the deepening shades of red to purple on Sir Alex’s face will attest, but this loss provides one less game, an emotional Cup Final at that, for this team this term. Based on today, United’s midfield could use some rest, especially if the Red Devils progress to THE Final against Barcelona.

So, Chicharito, Giggs and Wazza get some rest and we take our medicine, swallow it whole, count our blessings and move on.

You never-ever want to face a Sir Alex Ferguson side after a tough loss, as the Governor’s bounce-back-ability is second to none in world football.

We look forward to Tuesday’s trip to barcode-land with a fully rested White Pele looking to avenge his ban.

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Back at you late after the Newcastle match. Cheers.

Karmic Payback

After watching United knockout Chelsea from the Champions League much to my delight, I began thinking about what to write about here… the ageless Gigggs… a Scholes-like Rooney… our van der Sar-Superstar… the remarkable Sir Alex Ferguson… or, the little pea-poacher… so many options, so little the time…

Yet, when I reflect, for a moment on the fortunes of these two clubs since 2003, I’m struck by the contrasting styles between the clubs. One is red, the other blue, while one is old money, the other new.

Today’s lesson, boys and girls, is that just because you’re an oligarch, it doesn’t mean you should meddle in the operations of your own football club. Can you say “oligarch”? Goooood!

I know players decide games, yet in it’s own strange symmetry, we find Roman Abramovich’s fingerprints all over this latest Champions League exit.

Simply consider these facts.

First, Abramovich spends a then-record £140 million to buy Chelsea and proceeds to splash £100+ million on players in a clear attempt to win a title immediately. Why develop players? Let’s just pick the best off other clubs, as we’ve got billions banked and can spend, spend, spend.

This will eventually lead to a combustible mix of egos, and eventually, a narrow age-band of mid-career to over-the-hill stars.

Second, along with staggering sums come astronomical expectations from the boss. The trigger switch sits there ready for any manager that can’t deliver, as Ranieri, Mourinho, Grant, and Scolari can attest. Six managers in about eight years can’t be good for any club, as it impedes the development of cohesion and consistency, with allegiances, styles, and tactics all changing with every new manager.

This leads to more angst and impatience, I would argue, from the Director’s Box and ultimately an even quicker trigger finger – right, Mr. Scolari?

The managerial turnover cycle also inevitably leads to buying high and selling low with players, ultimately leading to massive losses and begging football authorities to intervene. UEFA’s pending financial fair play regulations pose a deadline for Chelsea, which leads to heightened – if possible – pressure to win the Champions League NOW.

This history, I’d argue, led to Chelsea over-paying for Fernando Torres, a player of significant pedigree and one obsessed over by Abramovich, but with a history of injuries and a confidence drought extending back over a year. Desperate times require desperate measures, presumably.

This history also places undue scrutiny on Ancelotti’s squad selection, as you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. How can you not play your £50 million-man? Not without incurring the wrath of your boss, that’s for certain.

But surly, you must think, as manager of Chelsea, Torres was arguably the one of the best strikers on the planet two years ago. He’ll break out of his slump soon – he’s too good to be this bad. You imperceptibly talk yourself into starting Fernando today, given memories of his class and excellent performance two years ago at Old Trafford against Vidic, plus it pleases your boss – why not. Double-bonus time, right? Not a chance. Drogba proved remarkably effective in his minutes in the second half as the leading edge of the blue attack and proved the original selection wrong.

And finally, my cherry on top of the sundae, came when Frank Lampard actually talked about how Roman Abramovich deserves success in Europe for turning around the fortunes of his club in the pre-match press conference.

Why on earth is Lamps talking about his owner ahead of a Champions League quarter-final-decider? Makes no sense, really, unless the billionaire has way too much influence with the squad. Can you imagine any United player talking about the Glazers EVER let alone before ANY match?

It’s theater-of-the-absurd.

This is final proof-positive that the new money, oligarch-way played a role in team selection and today’s defeat. The fingerprints are lifted and identified, as the jury finds accused is guilty as charged.

Contrast this Chelsea squad at this moment to United, who have held the same manager for decades, emphasize player development, reward long-standing servants of the club, and develop a “champions” mentality through cohesion and consistency.

There really is a United “way” of doing things that’s instilled in everyone from the tea lady to every player to Sir Alex himself. It’s nice to see this culture triumph yet again. No one player is ever bigger than the manager or the club. No owner, despite what you think about the Glazer debt, meddles in the football operations of the club. No way, no how.

And now we move on, keeping all talk about the “t-word” or any additional retirements under wraps for the time being.

We savor the taste of victory, complete with it’s sweet, full-bodied karmic overtones that linger ever so delightfully on the palate. Delightful indeed.

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Back at you after the FA Cup Semi with City. Cheers.

Thriller

Pretend, for a moment, that you’re a mega-rich businessman named Mohamed Al-Fayed.

Being a close, personal-friend of the late-grate Michael Jackson, you commission a statue of your deceased pal, but since you sold your department store, it gets complicated, as you no longer have a place to put your tribute to the pop icon.

So, how do you solve your conundrum?

Hmmm… Let me see… Put it in front of the Hôtel Ritz Paris? Uh, definitely not!

Maybe Craven Cottage? Hmmm… decisions, decisions…

Never mind that the one-gloved-wonder had no ties to Fulham FC, with the exception that he attended one match against Wigan in 1999.

Thusly, firm in your resolve, you determine to erect the statue outside of Craven Cottage juxtaposed against a supporter-financed statue of Fulham legend Johnny Haynes. Problem solved, right?

Wrong, as we’ve witnessed plenty of ridicule since the bizzare inauguration. And to think, the statue unveiling came only two days after the April Fools day.

How appropriate, then, was it for United’s own jheri curled star to moonwalk past Al-Fayed’s team for a comfortable 2-0 victory.

Today, Nani’s trickery set up both goals and proved the decisive threat needed for the victory. It was special performance for United’s number seventeen, as he was clearly the MOTM on a sleepy-and-comfortable stroll for three points past the Cottagers.

And now, given the chatter around Mr. Al-Fayed’s statue, we can’t wait for next week’s Special 1 TV, where, if we’re lucky, every time the Special One mentions Nani’s performance the loud keyboard chorus from “Thriller” will cause the puppets to look towards the heavens in bewilderment. Brilliant, that is. (If you haven’t seen it, watch the “I’m on Sentanta Sports” episode that from August 23, 2008, which includes Nani and the Berbatov appeal)

United are only five wins away from our beloved nineteenth league title and on course for some other special pieces of silverware as well… Sssshhh – don’t say the “Treb”-word out loud just yet.

Importantly, as well, the Red Devils got run-outs for Anderson, Berbatov, Gibson, O’Shea, Nani and Smalling, plus we even had a Michael Owen sighting, who came on as a substitute in the 73rd minute.

Sir Alex will be delighted that it appears nobody got injured while Chicharito, Giggs, Rio, Rooney and van der Sar all rested.

And now, of course, we move our attentions for Tuesday’s encounter with Chelsea, with the opportunity to knockout the Blues from the Champions League Quarter-Finals.

Queue up the music again – sorry, can’t resist – as:

It’s close to midnight
Something evil’s is lurkin’ in the dark
Under the moonlight
You see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream (John Terry)
But terror takes the sound before you can make it
You start to freeze (Petr Cech)
As horror (Wazza) looks you right between the eyes
You’re paralyzed

‘Cause this is thriller
Thriller night
And no one’s gonna save you
From the beast about to strike

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Back at you well after the Champions League clash on Tuesday. Cheers.

Wazza Wonderland

The first half saw United with the majority of the possession, while generating excellent chances and countless corners. All good, right?

Wrong.

Two colossal mistakes gift West Ham not one but two penalties in the first 25 minutes, with the sluggish-looking United defense often way, way too square and switched off as the Hammers punt long balls as their primary counter attacking strategy.

Surprisingly, the direct route worked, as the Hammers forward line did well with the few opportunities provided in creating the penalties.

United are attacking well, yet down 2-0 because of bonehead backline decisions. Most peculiar indeed.

Would Upton Park be this year’s bogey ground?
Or, would 2-0 prove once again to be the most dangerous lead in football?

Enter from stage left Chicharito as he replaces Evra, with Giggs of all people moving to left back to start the second half. Give Sir Alex credit, as he’s willing to take aggressive, calculated gambles, albeit without much to loose here.

United up the tempo and continue to attack through Valencia, who was United’s best player in the first half. Better now from the Red Devils.

Enter from stage right, as Berbatov replaces Park and Rooney moves wide left. Unites now have 3 world-class strikers on the pitch.

Red Devil pressure leads to a foul just outside the area in the 65th minute. Up steps Rooney.

Wazza’s superb free kick curls around the outside of the wall and finds that back of the net inside just inside the post right in front of the travelling supporters.

It’s game on.

Writing appears to be on the wall, as the damn hath burst and a goal-flood seems inevitable, but nothing would shock us today, given the penalty decisions.

Pressure builds and builds now.

Valencia’s low cross finds Rooney, whose lovely first touch running across the defenders and top of the box creates ample space for a far-post screamer; it’s 2-2 in 73rd minute.

Incessant pressure now reaches a crescendo, as we’ve witnessed this drama numerous times before.

Everyone in the ground, from Hammer supporters to media to Red Devil faithful, expect United to score more, as the away supporters break into a comfortable “We take what we want,” which for many a side would seem premature, if not tempting fate, but not this club.

Unites are first to every ball now and utterly dominate the match. How many will they score now?

Up steps one bouncing Brazilian right back, Fabio, expertly dribbling around defenders in the box and attempting to cross back from the touch line, where the ball ricochets off Upson’s arm.

It’s harsh, but the inevitable make-up penalty comes, as the linesman quickly signals handball.

Up steps Rooney. 3-2 United. Wazza’s hat trick completes the comeback.

Now the only thing in doubt is the final score, not the result. Chicharito makes it 4-2 and the Red Devils break out their party-trick passing to run out the match.

Game over.

Here are several quick reactions to this match.

First, full credit to Sir Alex for taking off Evra and inserting Chicharito in the 45th minute versus waiting until later. This completely changed the tempo and edge of the attack, with Giggs being a real threat from his left back position. Also, it was a no-brainer to bring on Berbatov in the 64th minute, whose strength and languid possession unsettled the central defensive paring, as they could no longer muscle this center forward off the ball.

Second, what a psychological blow to Arsenal and Chelsea. One minute their hopes are up prior to their own kickoff, while the next minute they watch the Red Devils clobber the Hammers – the match easily could have been 5-2 or 6-2. (As I write this piece, the Gunners are 0-0 with Blackburn well into the second half at the Emirates, plus Chelsea already drew with Stoke.) You can never underestimate the impact of this result on title chasers.

Last, I’ll resist any analysis of United’s defensive performance and instead focus on the attack, which was brilliant.

The Red Devils really impressed all afternoon, as everyone in the squad looked menacing moving forward:
• Valencia’s width and crossing looked superb all day.
• Rooney struggled in the first half, yet stayed with the match and bagged his hat trick in the second.
• Chicharito and Berbatov looked excellent coming on, each with their own form of vision and venom.
• Giggs and Fabio provided wonderful overlapping runs and displayed the utmost composure over the ball in the second half.
• Even the often maligned Carrick and Gibson won enough of the midfield battles to keep United pressing forward.

All in all a splendid effort and one that keeps the Red Devils on-course for the beloved 19th title.

It just never gets old, does it?

No matter your life’s circumstances, you can always count on United to bring you a delightful, gripping drama, one so often full of joy and wonder. Belief simply surrounds and envelops this club, much to our continued amazement.

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Player Ratings: Kuszczak 6; Evra 4 (Chicharito 7); Smalling 5; Vidic 5; Fabio 6; Giggs 6; Carrick 7; Park 5 (Berbatov 7) Gibson 5; Valencia 7; Chicharito 6; Rooney 7 - first half 5; second 9; Nani (n/a – too few minutes).

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Hopefully back at you after the Chelsea match, which I’ll need to watch in the evening in the US after following a strict media blackout.