Back to Civilization

Suppose you just returned from an extremely remote tropical island, one without satellite TV, internet, or phone access. You’re anxious to know United’s results. Upon finding the first internet café at the airport you grab a computer and begin searching for the Newcastle match report as your mind races…

“A bloody draw! What?! Steven Taylor is Man of the Match?! Steven Taylor! You’re out of your mind! Campbell, Possebon, and Rafael all played?! No Tevez. Giggs and Carrick injured…aw, c’mon…urrrggghhhhh…”

You click to the next report, mumbling obscenities under your breath, as the browser page loads all-too-slowly. Now you’re nervy about the Portsmouth match – a depleted squad, upcoming games with Liverpool and Chelski, and our poor record at Fratton Park.

Loading, loading…

The Guardian headline finally appears: “Fletcher’s strike shakes the ring rust off United.”

“Yesssss!!! Atta-boy, Fletch! Two in two games?! Must be playing brilliantly. Who else played? Tevez, yes… Anderson on the wing – really? Possebon played again. Subs were Gary, Fabio, Rafael, Campbell, Gibson, and Kuszczak – wow, pretty thin squad. Great result.”

What a strange start to the season.

The Newcastle match actually made the Yogi Berra quote “It’s deja-vu, all over again” make sense, while the Portsmouth game reversed a jinx. Keep in mind the season may become only more bizarre with "Russians on the Riviera" this Friday. That’s two trophy competitions before playing three league matches followed by World Cup qualifiers. Nothing again until September 13th. Thank you, oh great schedule-Gods.

Actually, I am serious.

When the schedule first came out, I loathed the Super Cup and timing of World Cup qualifiers ahead of the Pool and Chelski matches. Now with injuries, it looks like the best-possible schedule for the Premiership. It allows youngsters and role-players to get minutes. It avoids some meaningful Premiership games without Ronaldo and the rest of the MASH unit. Plus, you’ve got to love getting a chance to watch Possebon’s quick-and-sure footwork in the middle of the park. As we watch each new youngster show their tremendous promise, it gives more weight to Fergie’s comments that, “United will be winning titles long after I have gone.” This isn’t just PR. You can see and experience the blueprint to a marvelous future.

But now it’s back to the present and thoughts about the Super Cup, WC qualifiers, and no Premiership footy. Hmmm... flatlined my thoughts now... Man, a warm beach far away from civilization certainly sounds enticing now, as long as it has satellite TV access of course. Aloha.