Oh the Beautiful Irony

Maybe it’s because I’m close to several long-standing Arsenal supporters.

Maybe it’s because I pride myself for having some balanced perspective on my beloved club, however small and however brief.

Maybe it’s because I predicted a 1-1 score within the “I Know the Score” online Premiership prediction game.

But after the final whistle, I couldn’t help feeling both dirty and delighted all at the same time.

Three points is three points, oh Zen-master, yet I couldn’t escape the impending arguments that lay before me the next time I see any of the Arsenal faithful: the Fletcher non-call, the Rooney dive, and the injustice directed toward The Professor. All proof amongst a long rap-sheet, they maintain, that United are beneficiaries of too many calls inside both boxes at Old Trafford. Sure enough, right on script, the nutty Professor arrogantly alludes to the injustice that routinely befalls opponents at the Theater of Dreams and calls United's play some version of anti-football, since he alone holds the patent on the beautiful game.

While I won’t dispel that several fifty-fifty calls went United’s way on Saturday, I agree with the cliché that you largely make your breaks in this life. Nothing’s guaranteed mind you, but United’s concentration, commitment, and courage do influence refereeing along with that little detail that, oh yeah, 75,000+ are in attendance. Smaller grounds with tight surroundings and vocal support elicit a similar influence over refereeing judgment, I contend, as refs cannot escape being human. It’s no different.

Some argue that you cannot help but wonder what winning the majority of the Premiership-era titles does in the sub-reaches of the referee’s mind. Surely, they’ve seen United – from Robson to Rio – outclass many a side, the argument goes, and that influences decisions subconsciously and unduly.

Total rubbish, I say.

First, refereeing in the Premiership involves bang-bang decisions that require instant reactions. The supporter-critic watching at home has the benefit of the TV-angle along with slow-motion replays. To think that refs give United special treatment, one much different than any other home side, over-analyzes the situation. (A compelling counter-argument can be made that refs read all of the pundits’ garbage – too many decisions go United’s way at Old Trafford – thus brewing up some contrarian tendencies within the refereeing ranks. Put that in you pipe and smoke it.)

Yet, even if I accept the special treatment premise, I could subsequently contend that United have justified their “undue” influence over Premiership officials through their performances – you get what you deserve in our imperfect world. Win a few titles and you earn the benefit of the doubt, this argument goes.

Regardless of where you fall within this debate, however, I believe THE two crucial decisions on Saturday had their own merit and ultimately didn’t impact the match’s outcome.

First, the non-call: Fletcher did go to ground early, got ball first, swept out his man only to have the ball crawl up his arm, get up and maintain possession. Touching ball first and coming away with it, I argue, largely influenced Mike Dean’s decision.

But let’s forget this, for a moment, and look at the impact of this decision. Fletcher admitted that he panicked after the non-call and lobbed a terrible clearance that ultimately led to Arshavin’s goal many seconds later – thus, making the decision a non-issue for the game’s outcome. Either way it’s 1-0 to the Arsenal just before half-time.

Second, there’s the whole Rooney fiasco, which already bothers me to no end. (Closed-circuit to the Wenger-Worshipers: don’t forget Eboue’s real dive in the second half, the one appropriately yellow carded by Mike Dean. You’re two for two inside a week, m’boy. But I digress; it’s back to The Boy Wayne.)

Yes, on super-slow-motion, you can see Wazza preparing for the contact and starting to ultimately go down. Yes, I won’t deny that one single bit. But we’re talking fractions of a second here.

Anytime an attacking player goes one-on-one with the keeper, touches ball first, contact comes and the forward goes to ground, you cannot, I repeat, cannot beseech the referee for calling a penalty – no way, no how. Get over it. That’s the risk run by the keeper coming out full-speed on a fifty-fifty ball every single time.

Ah, but could Rooney have gotten out of the way?

Possibly, but even that’s very debatable. Almunia deserves blame for over-reacting to the threat that wide of goal. All he needed was to become big, close a tight angle, and take the percentages that were largely in his favor that Rooney wouldn’t score. His over-reaction is the story, not something seen only on the slowest of replays.

As a United supporter, too many times I’ve seen Rooney keep his feet despite a major hack and ultimately hit a weak shot saved by a grateful keeper or fly off-course largely due to the contact. I don’t fault Rooney’s actions one single bit, if he anticipated the contact and started going down. Well done, Wazza, a smart move by a maturing player.

So, is staying up “honest” and going to ground – even after contact at warp-speed – “cheating”?! Puh-leez.

It is, however, a lovely irony the Gunners should befall such a fate this past Saturday, surely one not lost on Celtic fans.

Enjoy the international break. Back at you after the Tottenham match. Cheers.