Hammered

Sorry, I just couldn't resist with the title. What a strange day.

Watching United games from the dead-center of North America, I'm accustomed to the cold and snow, but not watching it flying around Upton Park in November. Newcastle or Sunderland, maybe, but not London. Snow falling outside. Snow falling on TV.

Watching United games on the DVR, hours after the result's complete with a personal media blackout in effect, always adds to the strange alchemy here, especially if things turn sour.

Speaking of turning sour: enter from stage-left one Jonathan Spector. Fellow Yank. Former United player.

Now central midfielder and goal-scoring machine?!

After scoring one goal at Derby – a dubious one at that – thus far in his career, Mr. Spector was a close off-sides call away from a hat-trick by halftime. Which then naturally leads the Upton Park faithful fans to start chants of “going down, going down, going down” aimed at Fergie's men.

Are you kidding me?!

Oh East-ender, karma's a bitch, mate. The bubbles might flow tonight, but you've got the real dogfight on your hands.

Next up Chicharito and Fabio get clattered and clobbered, while some good chances fall to Bebe, whose touch lets him down due to his “rough edges” and we break for half down 2-0.

Adding to the overall surrealness of this viewing, I'm watching it off Fox Soccer PLUS, which has just one announcer for the match and absolutely no commentary or analysis at half. Grrrrrr.

Instead what do we get? Countless adverts for Ligue 1, Premier League, and the League-formerly-known-as-the-Coca-Cola Championship. Etcetera, etcetera.

After the commercial montage is complete, next up is a short, promo-like-documentary-highlight-reel-job about the Gerry Francis era at QPR. Nothing against Gerry Francis, but WTF?

Simply add in a predatory lending commercial promising to take care of all your debt needs without a background check. Now your evening is complete. (BTW, other typical commercials on this network could involve products like male enhancement pills, Hair Club for [bald] Men, and acne cream. Just the target demographic you always wanted to be, right?)

Such is life watching footy a continent away from the action in a culture that largely doesn't appreciate the beautiful game. AT LEAST I could get the game. That's still how I view it.

Or, at least that's how I saw it prior to watching the second half, which started brightly, with Macheda on for Bebe and some good early pressure coming off of Fabio's overlapping runs down the right flank. Maybe there's a comeback in the offering.

Think again.

Against the run of play, United switch off at the back and Carleton Cole heads the Hammers on top 3-0 – bad, bad Jonny Evans.

Astonishing.

Now comes the part I'm not too proud to admit: I fast-forward the DVR to watch to see if the scoreline changes... It does, but in the wrong direction.

Now it's 4-0. Game. Set. Match.

We all knew the streak would end sometime, with the Carling Cup being a fairly ideal place for a blip in the road. Thankfully, this match is already history.

As Minnesotans, we take perverse pleasure in thriving during our long, icy winters, which makes it hilarious to listen to the Brits complain about minimal snow fall – oh, THE cold. On some level, it also makes it even harder to watch United get hammered and taunted in the snow.

As a famous former Beatle once said, “Strange days indeed, strange days indeed.”

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Back at you after the Blackpool match. Cheers.