We’re almost inside T-minus 24 hours from The Final, The Dream Matchup. THE question you’ve just gotta ask yourself is are you physically, emotionally, and mentally ready for the match?
As a public service, especially to Red Devils Stateside or the Far East, below you’ll find your pre-match checklist.
Read carefully. Get your pen and paper ready for this all-important assessment. Each yes is worth one point; please note the bonus and extra point deductions in parenthesis.
Are you ready for THE FINAL? Find out…
1. Do you have your lucky United jersey (not washed during since the beginning of the knockout rounds = one extra, bonus point), scarf, and jeans worn during past glory ready?
2. Have you over-analyzed United’s tactics and team selection in the privacy of your own thoughts throughout the past week to the point of feelin’ like a gaffer yourself?
3. Do you already know who and where you’re meeting at least 3 hours before kickoff? (Deduct an extra point if you have no plans at all.)
4. Have you already researched a ridiculous, Cliff Clavenesque amount of stats on both teams, including their history in Europe?
5. Do you find yourself completely distracted, unable to work productively today? (Add a bonus point if you avoided scheduling any client appointments today. If you took the pre-match day off as vacation, then add two bonus points.)
6. Do you find yourself fantasizing about someone putting in a Nobby Stiles-like MOTM performance tomorrow? (If you have to ask “Who is Nobby Stiles?” deduct one point.)
7. Have you worried at least a few times today about the “beautiful” Barca turning to its ugly side, diving and gaming all over the place? (If you haven’t thought about it, deduct one extra point.)
8. Have you re-watched any portion of a United Champions League match this past week in anticipation of THE Final? (Add extra points per match for the ’68, ’99, or ’08 finals. Deduct a point for your own well-being if you watched the ’09 Final.)
9. Have you read something from blogs “The Busby Way”, “The Republik of Mancunia”, “Red Rants”, or “The United Religion” within the past 48 hours? (If you’ve read something from all four, add one additional point. If you don’t know any of the four, deduct a point.)
10. Have you dreamt about United since Saturday?
If you score a Spinal Tab eleven or higher, congratulations, as you deserve tickets to the final and to have your “United, wife, kids – in that order” or “Not Arrogant. Just Better” banner autographed by Sir Alex himself!
If you totaled eight or more points, then you’re definitely ready. Your preparation is its own reward here, as everything is lining up for your BIG day. Cheers to you!
If you scored in the range between five and seven, get a hold of yourself man – you’ve got some catching up to do.
If you scored less than five, are you a City fan in disguise?
Here’s to total victory tomorrow. Oh the sweet anticipation. Cheers.
-----------------
Back at you well after the match.
No comments:
Post a Comment